Erasing You
by cooke munstr
Summary: Logan's notebook is his most prized possession.
1. Entry One

Erasing You

Entry # One 9/23/12

I noticed you from afar everyday. The joyous smile upon your face as you scored a touch down in football. Every Game. You were there. Little did you know I was there too. Supporting you without you're consent. I loved that face that you make when you hear something amusing. I love your dark eyes. Brown like mahogany . I could stare at them everyday. I count the dimples on your cheeks. So far there's 5 on your fair golden brown skin. I just really want to cup your cheek. I bet your skin is soft like a newborn baby.  
Black gold. You're hair is the color of black gold, I consider it valuable like gold. Rubbing my fingers threw it would be a privilege to the gods.  
Your smile, those pearly whites. Brighten my day. making me forget how lonely my life is. I just wish you would flash it at me for once. Those bright pink lips of yours. They're precious. I just wish you wouldn't kiss those tramps that call you their "boyfriend". I desire to make contact with them with my own lips. To taste you would complete me. I see you apply cherry Chapstick on at your locker in the mirror. I wouldn't mind savoring it. To feel you make sparks with me. To transfer your love into me.

I wish we could be friends at least. Your house is right across the street from me. Just 17 steps away from mine. How would I know exactly? I've tried making attempts to talk to you, the coward in me screams louder than my confidence. It's funny. As I write this I can see you playing catch with your dad. It must be fun bonding with your father. Mine barely gets me. Considering that I'm gay. You're little sister seems like an angel. Your family seems perfect. You're perfect. Flawless like a diamond. I wish I could just steal you like one. Having you all to myself

It burns my soul knowing I can't have you. I can't touch your tender yet muscular skin. I just wish I could embrace you. You're arms wrapping around me. Making me feel secure. Hidden from the adversity I face. I can not stop thinking about you. You're racing in my head. Literally racing. I have an image if you from football running from the opposite team.

One Day I hope our paths can cross  
Carlos.

~Logon


	2. Entry Two

Entry # Two  
9/25/12

I have never been so grateful to go to public school before in my life until today. The system I'm place in has me mixed in with neanderthals who have a lack of guidance for the need of education. One of the things that fascinate me about you is how well you adapt and respond. I know the way this sounds, it sounds like you're my test subject but I'm just really observant of you. You're not like your gorilla friends. Using gorilla in a metaphorically yet true statement. They act like apes and are hairy. But anyways you're like an optical illusion. I'm not saying I have you figured out because I don't, if I did I'd probably wouldn't be writing these. You're pretty smart after all but you hide it from your friends.

When our English teacher, assigned partners to do a multimedia presentation on any literature of our choice, I felt like I would be paired with an ape of a classmate. Surprising enough I got to be partners with you instead. When he called our names, I saw something. I saw a small smile creep on your face. Like you were excited to work with me. You collected your notebooks and sat in the desk to the right of me. My tongue disappeared just then. Your presence before me deemed me vulnerable to you. I swallowed hard before finally saying hi. You flashed me your beautiful smile in response. For once it was directed towards me. That made me melt inside. Your voice flowed smoothly as you spoke to me about ideas. When you said "Shakespeare" it sounded beautiful, like it was written by Shakespeare. We agreed on doing a report on Shakespeare. Or I think we did, I was distracted by your face. I think I made my staring inconspicuous, I could have started drooling for all I know.

The bell rang which told me, that our time together was coming to an end. An Ending to seeing your sophisticated side. I appreciate what you did for me. You stayed and helped me gather my books. It's awesome to know that some of us still treat people with compassion. My hand felt a jolt as it met with your hand. That spark traced towards my heart and caused my cheeks to be flushed pink when you looked at me. Time froze. There were two choices I could have done. I could have awkwardly got up and escape your gaze or I could have pushed my limits and kiss you. Time was melting slowly now, I could see you in slow motion. Your pink lips looked like they were aimed for mine. My body was still. Your head leaned into mine. And our lips locked. I could feel you on my lips. I could taste your cheery Chapstick. "Carlos Garcia is kissing me!" All I could process in my mind was that sentence. The class room faded away. It began to feel like we were in space. I could smell the cologne on you. Well the cologne that was on me now too. That's the only air I could breathe. Sadly colors came back in. Time sped up. And our lips departed. You waved goodbye to me and you disappeared into the hallway.

~Logan


	3. Entry Three

Entry # Three  
9/26/12

The birds tweeted outside my window as I woke up this morning. I actually paid attention to that for once. Today I got out of bed with a purpose. A purpose other than academics. My purpose was to simply have a conversation with Carlos. Don't you think it's kind of weird that I get to lip lock with this astonishing guy but I barely know his favorite color? I enjoyed the start of my morning with songs the birds harmonized. I felt so free that I almost join them.

Sitting on my desk was a book about William Shakespeare. There's something interesting in it to me. William Shakespeare possibly didn't write all the stories he's acclaimed for. It's been an unknown mystery for all these years. Another mystery I'm fascinated with is Christianity. When I was younger I would pray to Jesus before I went to bed. I feel silly relying on an imaginary being to protect me in my sleep. I rather not talk about that though.

My phone vibrated in my pocket as I was packing up my stuff off my desk and into my bag. I read a text from a number I never seen before. Who could possibly have my number? I barely need a phone. It's there so my parents can keep tabs on me. The text said "Logan, meet me behind the school at the big oak tree before school starts." My first thought was that it was a wrong number. But this couldn't be, it said Logan and there was a big tree behind my school.

I parked my car. My steps made a light rustle in the grass a I walked towards the grand tree. I'd be able to see what was so important that I'd be meeting someone here. From my angle the tree looked like there was no one there. I continued making steps. I did a quick circle around it and found a black hooded figure. I felt fearless at this moment. To me there seemed like nothing to be afraid of. I highly doubt someone's trying to sell me drugs or have me participate in any other illegal activities. I'd have enough common sense. "Hey." I said to the back of this figure. The figure turned around and let down it's hood. It was Carlos. Strange, I didn't see his car back here though. He gave me a smile with those dimples. "You came! I felt like you wouldn't come because I didn't realize until now, how creepy that must have been for you." Carlos said excited. Maybe my priorities weren't in check because I wanted to know was how he got my number. But there was no way I was going to ruin this moment and ask him. "It felt suspicious but I just did it." I told him.  
Carlos scooped my body with his arms closer to him. I could feel him all over me. "Don't let go." I begged with my eyes. His warmth was comforting. I was melting in his arms. "I can't fight my feelings you. I've always had these urges to kiss you Logan." His words lingered in my head. Was he confessing his love to me? I stayed in his arms and planted a kiss on his cheek. God I love that Carmel skin. He let go of me briefly before holding me by the back of my neck with his laced fingers. We were basically the same height. He pressed out foreheads together so that we could look into each others' brown eyes. "I need you and I can't possibly go another day without knowing if you feel the same way as I do." His statement to me was all I wanted hear for years. In my response I said, "Would you be mad if I told you, I love you." Maybe it was too forward but he's eyes squeeze the truth out of he.  
He planted a light kiss on my nose "No. I'd be mad if you said you didn't. I love you also." Carlos said.  
My eye started having a small trail of tears fall to my cheek. He wrapped his safe arms around me again. Rocking me gently side to side. I buried my head into his black shoulder.  
This seriously couldn't be happening. He opened up to me. His arms convinced me I wouldn't have to be alone again. "School is gonna start." My brain made me say to inform him. I really just wanted to freeze time right here. Carlos spoke softly "Will you just stay here with me a little longer?" I never been late or skipped before but I said "Okay"

"Thanks." he said to me, before placing his cheek against mine. My hands roamed around his chin and jawline as they plundered his skin with curiosity. I met his gaze again like yesterday. Are lips connected and I could feel the words and emotional he wants to show me but can't explain.

~Logan


End file.
